Boys

Okay so here are the promised stories.

Prologue - last Friday was GIG, so basically the entire campus drank all day and sat out in the sun.

1. Ben (who graduated last year) still hangs out on campus sometimes. He's tall and skinny and has this long (for a boy) wavy hair. He's a theater kid and a pirate. We know each other but aren't really friends. But he gave me a hug every time i saw him on GIG, so that was happy (he gives good hugs) and since it was hot out i was wearing a bikini and a short skirt and he was like "that's hot, you have a 6 pack, i wish i had that" (i maintain that i only have a 4 pack but hey, who's counting). I think we should hook up, but so far that's a no go. Also would not mind actually dating him. He always wears his "red friend shoes." he had to buy red converse shoes for this play he was in my freshman year - i ran crew. his character was named "red friend" and so he ended up really liking the shoes and wears them all the time. Although they aren't comfortable anymore because they are all worn out but he wears them anyway. I really like random colored shoes, so i like that he still wears them all the time. Plus i loved the play he was in, it was really funny and entertaining every single time i saw it.

2. Alain - tall, skinny, cute, speaks French, plays guitar, can sing and act. Seems like a nice guy, just kinda want to hook up with him and then be friends. He's a senior and since I've wanted to hook up with him since the French plays back in February/March I'm beginning to feel like this is a lost cause.

3. Michael - i had three classes with him last year while i was dating Zach. He was nice enough, we'd talk sometimes in class but were never friends outside of the classroom. I thought he was kinda cute but I had a boyfriend so i wasn't really paying attention. He was. He thought I was super attractive and all that stuff. So Friday night he happens to be sitting by my friends during the concert thing, and we start talking. Eventually it's just us sitting there - i think everyone else has gone to dance. He confesses that he really liked me last year but knew i had a boyfriend, and then started to ask if i was still with him or what and then started accusing Zach of being really dumb for dumping me. (side note: i hate when people are like "i can't believe anyone would dump you, there must be something wrong with them" or are like "why don't you have a boyfriend?" it's like stop accusing me of being single and blaming someone for dumping me - obviously it just didn't work) So long story short we start dancing and then he comes back to my room and spends the night. I didn't sleep like at all and i had to get up to teach swim lessons the next day. it's like there's a point while hooking up that you stop and everyone falls asleep, but he didn't and would continuously prevent me from falling asleep by starting things up again. He went on and on about how beautiful i was and was like "you fit so perfectly" and how badly he'd wanted me. It was a little awkward because i barely knew and and i felt like i was fulfilling some sort of fantasy for this guy. So in the morning he left and i went to teach swim lessons, after i give him my number. On Monday I had this huge 15 page paper due that i was really stressed about. (That's another thing, he spent a lot of time telling me that i always seemed stressed out and that I'm high strung - i don't think I'm high strung, I'll agree with stressed though - and that it was because i was an athlete and moved though space fast so therefore i perceived time as moving faster than people who don't move as fast. and then he was like "you live life in the fast lane" - um okay) So he knew my paper was due on Monday and that i was planning to just work on it all day Saturday and Sunday. He calls Saturday night and is like "i really want to see you" me: "i have to work on my paper" him: "but i really want to see you again, when can i see you" me: "I'm really busy, my paper is due Monday" I ended up not working on my paper and just going to bed. Sunday he calls me and is like "i want to help with your paper where are you" so he hunts me down in the library and insists on helping with my paper. He wanted to type while i dictated what i wanted to say. I tried to tell him i didn't know what i wanted to say yet because i needed to research more, and that it didn't matter because typing was part of the writing process, but he didn't believe me. I made him edit my other paper that I'd already finished. When he left we kissed good bye and and he told me i was really beautiful. It's so awkward because i didn't want to say "you are so hot" or whatever back to him so what do you say to that. and usually i just smile and blush and look cute and say thanks, which seems to work, but i always feel like the guys would like some other response. He took "my paper is due monday" to mean that Monday night i wouldn't have anything to do. Obviously he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does. When he found out i couldn't hang out with him he confessed that he thought that i was amazing and attractive and wanted to know if i liked him. When i told him it didn't know, he got all upset and was like "it's a simple yes or no question" no matter what i told him he didn't believe me that there could be gray area, and then started telling me i didn't like him, but i never said that!!! and at this point i hadn't slept at all in just over 36 hours so i couldn't even think. he wanted me to agree to a time when we could sit down and talk about this. I didn't want to and told him to call me again later. I had a long talk with Emily, where we decided he was kinda crazy and it wasn't fair for him to skip over all that beginning flirting stuff, and i couldn't be whoever he thought i was anyway. I'm not as amazing, beautiful, or perfect as he thought i was, i couldn't be that girl. So i called him the next day and was like "if you want a yes or no answer it's going to have to be no" and then he wanted to know what question i was answering and made me go through the whole song and dance and then i tried to explain that i wasn't who he thought i was - 'but i don't know you yet, blah blah blah'. and that anyway he was graduating and i was leaving for the sumer in like 10 days and i didn't really have time and stuff like that. and i could tell he was really upset but it's like "don't tell a girl you've liked her for over a year, demand an yes or no answer, and expect her to fall head over heals in love with you instantly especially during finals week when she doesn't even have time to sleep." So yeah he's out of the picture. Also his face book is kinda weird and he uses youtube as a documentary tool and had an intense religious experince and is not catholic. and apparently very religious, but i only know from other people and his facebook, which makes him come off as a crazy person. So there's that too, and he smokes. But he's out the the picture now since i vetoed the "you don't want to just hang out for a week" idea.

4. Pat - so he wasn't a story i was planning to have to talk about but due to me being a flirt and a stupid crazy girl he's back in the picture. So Sunday night at rehearsal i leaned on him since we were sitting next to each other and he put his arm around me. Monday night when i hadn't slept at all yet we ended up cuddling on the props backstage. Same thing Tuesday night, i actually feel asleep back stage. He told me that he really likes cuddling with me and i did that whole smile, blush, look cute, and giggle move that has become my "i have no idea what to say to that" reaction. and i kinda freaked out and we didn't really cuddle back stage on Wednesday. Doesn't really help that Nate, who is adorable and has amazing abs is also back stage and i'd much rather hook up with him. But Nate isn't very flirty, or the kind of person you can just lean on and have him cuddle back. I feel like he'd let me lean on him but not really respond. Anyway i was in a bad mood last night and Pat invited me over to sleep in his bed. So i went, we just slept, but one of his apartment mates saw me leave, i don't know which one, i don't really know the people he lives with at all, but some of them are in the theater and one of them is Sarah H's bf and I love Sarah, she's great, but she's a theater kid also, and i don't really need the whole theater department knowing that i spent the night in Pat's room. No one will believe me that we didn't do anything. Pat has the reputation for like being really experienced and doing things, but I'm not really sure why. But he does and so i feel like they'll all think we're hooking up. In the morning before i left for my interview he was like "I slept so well last night, i haven't slept that well in forever, blah blah blah" and now i have an open, non- binding, invitation to sleep in his bed whenever i want. I feel like a bitch. I love cuddling with him, he's like a huge teddy bear, but I'm not really attracted to him. So i feel like I'm leading him on, which maybe i am. At the same time the guys that i want to hook up with are all theater kids, so it's like I'm slamming doors in my face right and left and holding open one i don't even want to walk through. Whatever they are all graduating (or did last year) so oh well.

So those are my boy stories. Glad Pat and Michael waited till the end of the year, so i can just kinda be like smile blush giggle for another week (well with Pat who i actually want to be friends with - Michael is out of the picture)